Newf
10-26-2009, 12:16 AM
President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering
which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in
Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin'
to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation
"there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-
neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub.
That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have
one million men in my army waiting to move on my
command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya
back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again.
"Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to
acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George
asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and
Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie,
that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored
personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to
one and a half million since we last spoke."
Lard T'underin' bye", said Archie, I'll be getting
back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.
"President Bush, the war is still on! We have
managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an'
modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of
shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the
Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000
bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided,
surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jumpins," said Archie," I'll have ta call youse
back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you
dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves
down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints,
and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed
two million prisoners."
which country to invade next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in
Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am callin'
to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation
"there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-
neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub.
That makes eight!"
George paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have
one million men in my army waiting to move on my
command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya
back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again.
"Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to
acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George
asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and
Harry's farm tractor."
President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie,
that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored
personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to
one and a half million since we last spoke."
Lard T'underin' bye", said Archie, I'll be getting
back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.
"President Bush, the war is still on! We have
managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an'
modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of
shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the
Legion have joined us as well!"
George was silent for a minute then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000
bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided,
surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jumpins," said Archie," I'll have ta call youse
back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day.
"President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you
dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves
down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints,
and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed
two million prisoners."