ironworks
05-05-2012, 05:03 PM
Feed Source: Bleacher Report
If you want my Cliff’s Notes version of SmackDown!, scroll to the end of the article. If you want to find the questions I hope you’ll answer for me, SKIM THE ARTICLE FOR ANYTHING IN ALL CAPS. If you want to skip to my predictions, look for the ***.
Sheamus is the first man out tonight. After a forgettable few moments on the mic, Sheamus starts trying to get the audience to join him in a “Yes!” chant. So now, apparently, Bryan’s opponents can use his chant as well? Get your own catchphrase, Sheamus!
Daniel Bryan is the World Heavyweight Champion’s opponent tonight. As I was watching this, I thought to myself, “Why are they giving us this match again?” But not a minute goes by before my question is distracted by Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez, attacking Sheamus with a high cross body from the top rope. The match is declared a No Contest.
Bryan expresses his displeasure to ADR’s face. Could Daniel Bryan face off against Sheamus and Del Rio at Over the Limit? Could he be given a WWE Championship and World Heavyweight Championship title shot in the same night?
If so, he could run with the claim that he’ll be the first superstar since Y2J to compete for—and win—both major titles in the same evening. That could lead to a great mic war (and a phenomenal free-television match) between Bryan and Y2J sometime between now and OTL.
*** I’m calling it right now: Sheamus will lose the title at the PPV, but they’ll blame it on his shoulder, so as to soften his loss.
I’m not a big fan of Kofi Kingston and R-Truth wearing the Tag Team Titles. If this is who the WWE is having represent their tag team division, they better have something good in mind. Clearly Hunico and Camacho won’t get a victory over the champs.
But before the match can start, out come the former champs, Epico and Primo, with Rosa and apparently their new representation, AW. We are reminded more than once that “AW” is short for “All World,” alluding to the name of his agency. They all sit in chairs at the top of the entrance ramp, not interfering at all as the champs get the clean win over the their Latino opponents.
I feel like WWE is struggling to form a solid tag team division or Divas division. HOW DO YOU THINK THEY COULD FIX EITHER DIVISION? Humor me for a moment, will you? What if (for either championship) they had title change on a weekly basis, the belt(s) going to someone else on TV every time they are defended, until it sets a new record for most consecutive unsuccessful title defenses. Michael Cole continually remarks about how weak the division is.
Then, one week, there is a major challenger. I’m not sure who the new, dominant tag team would be, but for the Divas division, it would clearly be Kharma. This dominant challenger(s) takes the title(s) after Cole has been running it into the ground. They firmly establish that the championship means something again, and the weak division rapidly has some credibility again. That would be believable for Kharma, but is there a tag team that could take the division by storm?
Next up, we have the Funkasaurus, Brodus Clay, against the All-American American, Jack Swagger. Clay is accompanied by the “Funkadactyls” (yes, they were officially announced as such), while Swagger is accompanied by Vickie and Ziggler. Two segments in a row featuring a manager with more than one superstar under their guidance. Could this be the re-emergence of the manager stables, a la Bobby Heenan, Mr. Fuji and “The Doctor of Style" Slick? Swagger leaves mid-match, losing via count-out.
That gives the Funkasaurus televised victories over Ziggler and Swagger within the last six days. I don’t really know where they’re going with this… On a side note, now the Funkasauras celebrates a victory by bringing little kids into the ring to dance with him and Naomi and Cameron.
Really now, are we pretending like Naomi and Cameron are good role models for little girls? They have the most sexually-arousing moves within the WWE, other than Rosa Mendes. Yes, please have pre-teen girls want to follow their lead. Good call, WWE.
Confession time: I don’t have cable. I watch SmackDown! via illegal stream from the UK. I know there are slight variations between the UK and the US versions of SmackDown! and Raw, but did the US version really have a Cena promo video? I mean, that’s what we normally use for mid-carders who can’t get over on their own, right?
Why are we devoting this time to someone who has been on top for the last half-decade? This is followed by a Raw Rewind of John Laurinaitis and Lord Tensai destroying Cena. Are there really people who watch SmackDown! but not Raw? Who are you and why would you do such a thing?
Backstage, we see Daniel Bryan and Alberto Del Rio arguing with Eve about who the number one contender should be and both demanding that Sheamus be forced to wrestle tonight. Now I’m really feeling the Daniel Bryan double-title shot.
That would give him a legitimate cop-out for losing both matches: he could dominate both Sheamus and ADR in a triple threat match, only for one of them to get a lucky pin after Bryan takes out the other.
Then he could blame a loss to CM Punk on the fact that he had a triple threat match earlier in the evening. On another side note, does anyone else get a little turned on when someone as gorgeous as Eve flexes her power muscles as an administrative authority figure? Power is sexy.
After weeks of cliché promos, we finally get the debut of Damien Sandow. He is facing some guy from NXT I’ve never heard of (Derrick Bateman - ED.), because like most people, I haven’t watched NXT since the season that was highlighted by the members of Nexus. But before the match starts, Damien says he’s not going to waste his time with the NXT jobber and leaves.
(On yet another side note, Damien Sandow reminds me of what I think would be the result of someone trying to create a wrestling persona for Thom Stark. Sandow is the “self-professed intellectual Savior of the masses.”)
If you want my Cliff’s Notes version of SmackDown!, scroll to the end of the article. If you want to find the questions I hope you’ll answer for me, SKIM THE ARTICLE FOR ANYTHING IN ALL CAPS. If you want to skip to my predictions, look for the ***.
Sheamus is the first man out tonight. After a forgettable few moments on the mic, Sheamus starts trying to get the audience to join him in a “Yes!” chant. So now, apparently, Bryan’s opponents can use his chant as well? Get your own catchphrase, Sheamus!
Daniel Bryan is the World Heavyweight Champion’s opponent tonight. As I was watching this, I thought to myself, “Why are they giving us this match again?” But not a minute goes by before my question is distracted by Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer, Ricardo Rodriguez, attacking Sheamus with a high cross body from the top rope. The match is declared a No Contest.
Bryan expresses his displeasure to ADR’s face. Could Daniel Bryan face off against Sheamus and Del Rio at Over the Limit? Could he be given a WWE Championship and World Heavyweight Championship title shot in the same night?
If so, he could run with the claim that he’ll be the first superstar since Y2J to compete for—and win—both major titles in the same evening. That could lead to a great mic war (and a phenomenal free-television match) between Bryan and Y2J sometime between now and OTL.
*** I’m calling it right now: Sheamus will lose the title at the PPV, but they’ll blame it on his shoulder, so as to soften his loss.
I’m not a big fan of Kofi Kingston and R-Truth wearing the Tag Team Titles. If this is who the WWE is having represent their tag team division, they better have something good in mind. Clearly Hunico and Camacho won’t get a victory over the champs.
But before the match can start, out come the former champs, Epico and Primo, with Rosa and apparently their new representation, AW. We are reminded more than once that “AW” is short for “All World,” alluding to the name of his agency. They all sit in chairs at the top of the entrance ramp, not interfering at all as the champs get the clean win over the their Latino opponents.
I feel like WWE is struggling to form a solid tag team division or Divas division. HOW DO YOU THINK THEY COULD FIX EITHER DIVISION? Humor me for a moment, will you? What if (for either championship) they had title change on a weekly basis, the belt(s) going to someone else on TV every time they are defended, until it sets a new record for most consecutive unsuccessful title defenses. Michael Cole continually remarks about how weak the division is.
Then, one week, there is a major challenger. I’m not sure who the new, dominant tag team would be, but for the Divas division, it would clearly be Kharma. This dominant challenger(s) takes the title(s) after Cole has been running it into the ground. They firmly establish that the championship means something again, and the weak division rapidly has some credibility again. That would be believable for Kharma, but is there a tag team that could take the division by storm?
Next up, we have the Funkasaurus, Brodus Clay, against the All-American American, Jack Swagger. Clay is accompanied by the “Funkadactyls” (yes, they were officially announced as such), while Swagger is accompanied by Vickie and Ziggler. Two segments in a row featuring a manager with more than one superstar under their guidance. Could this be the re-emergence of the manager stables, a la Bobby Heenan, Mr. Fuji and “The Doctor of Style" Slick? Swagger leaves mid-match, losing via count-out.
That gives the Funkasaurus televised victories over Ziggler and Swagger within the last six days. I don’t really know where they’re going with this… On a side note, now the Funkasauras celebrates a victory by bringing little kids into the ring to dance with him and Naomi and Cameron.
Really now, are we pretending like Naomi and Cameron are good role models for little girls? They have the most sexually-arousing moves within the WWE, other than Rosa Mendes. Yes, please have pre-teen girls want to follow their lead. Good call, WWE.
Confession time: I don’t have cable. I watch SmackDown! via illegal stream from the UK. I know there are slight variations between the UK and the US versions of SmackDown! and Raw, but did the US version really have a Cena promo video? I mean, that’s what we normally use for mid-carders who can’t get over on their own, right?
Why are we devoting this time to someone who has been on top for the last half-decade? This is followed by a Raw Rewind of John Laurinaitis and Lord Tensai destroying Cena. Are there really people who watch SmackDown! but not Raw? Who are you and why would you do such a thing?
Backstage, we see Daniel Bryan and Alberto Del Rio arguing with Eve about who the number one contender should be and both demanding that Sheamus be forced to wrestle tonight. Now I’m really feeling the Daniel Bryan double-title shot.
That would give him a legitimate cop-out for losing both matches: he could dominate both Sheamus and ADR in a triple threat match, only for one of them to get a lucky pin after Bryan takes out the other.
Then he could blame a loss to CM Punk on the fact that he had a triple threat match earlier in the evening. On another side note, does anyone else get a little turned on when someone as gorgeous as Eve flexes her power muscles as an administrative authority figure? Power is sexy.
After weeks of cliché promos, we finally get the debut of Damien Sandow. He is facing some guy from NXT I’ve never heard of (Derrick Bateman - ED.), because like most people, I haven’t watched NXT since the season that was highlighted by the members of Nexus. But before the match starts, Damien says he’s not going to waste his time with the NXT jobber and leaves.
(On yet another side note, Damien Sandow reminds me of what I think would be the result of someone trying to create a wrestling persona for Thom Stark. Sandow is the “self-professed intellectual Savior of the masses.”)