01FLTR
07-07-2012, 06:43 PM
Poor bastard finds out that his wife was in a
terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital,
runs in to the ER and yells that his wife's been in an
accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the
case and page the doctor. The doctor comes out to
the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks.
"Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?"
The doctor sits next to him and says, "I'm afraid
it's not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in
two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones,
"what will be her prognosis?"
"Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However,
her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills
or capability. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.
"And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours
to prevent pneumonia and bedsores."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll
also have to diaper her, as she'll have no control over
her bladder, and those diapers must be changed five
times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries,
sobs, wails. The doctor continues: "And you'll have
to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have
no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge
quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her
immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent
she'll be emitting." Now Mr. Jones is convulsing,
sobbing uncontrollably and beginning
to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.
Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats
Mr. Jones on the shoulder.
"Hey, I'm just fu##### with you,
....she's dead.
How come it takes 6 men to carry a man to his grave
but only one woman to put him there?
terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital,
runs in to the ER and yells that his wife's been in an
accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the
case and page the doctor. The doctor comes out to
the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks.
"Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?"
The doctor sits next to him and says, "I'm afraid
it's not good news. Your wife's accident resulted in
two fractures of her spine."
"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones,
"what will be her prognosis?"
"Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However,
her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills
or capability. This means you will have to feed her."
Mr. Jones begins to sob.
"And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours
to prevent pneumonia and bedsores."
Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll
also have to diaper her, as she'll have no control over
her bladder, and those diapers must be changed five
times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries,
sobs, wails. The doctor continues: "And you'll have
to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have
no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge
quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her
immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent
she'll be emitting." Now Mr. Jones is convulsing,
sobbing uncontrollably and beginning
to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.
Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats
Mr. Jones on the shoulder.
"Hey, I'm just fu##### with you,
....she's dead.
How come it takes 6 men to carry a man to his grave
but only one woman to put him there?