KIDWCKED
12-19-2012, 06:15 PM
Thanx Bud c/p..
Timmy writes a Christmas Letter Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the
elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box
360 with Call of Duty IV, and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember
that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
************************************************** **********************
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all
fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the
time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to
get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
************************************************** ********************
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract - set by you I
might add - I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me
what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season
into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight
coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
************************************************** *********************
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "Nice" criterion, need I remind
you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of
services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your
right. Please know, however, that my attorneys are on retainer and will be
more than happy to take you on in open court.
Additionally, the outdoor exercise that I alluded to will not only improve
your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear
up your complexion that presently looks like the bottom of the Burger King
fry bin.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
* *
Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it.
I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks into this.
Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my home boys and we're
gonna be waiting for your fat *****. I be taking my game console, my game, my
phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
************************************************** **********************
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude like me who breaks into every house in the
world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe?
"He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound
familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I
got your **** wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt
people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your pizza roll
all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you
asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're
***** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
************************************************** **********************
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
************************************************** **********************
Timmy,
That's what I thought you little *****.
Santa
Timmy writes a Christmas Letter Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the
elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box
360 with Call of Duty IV, and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember
that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
************************************************** **********************
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all
fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the
time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to
get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
************************************************** ********************
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract - set by you I
might add - I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me
what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season
into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight
coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
************************************************** *********************
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "Nice" criterion, need I remind
you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of
services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your
right. Please know, however, that my attorneys are on retainer and will be
more than happy to take you on in open court.
Additionally, the outdoor exercise that I alluded to will not only improve
your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear
up your complexion that presently looks like the bottom of the Burger King
fry bin.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
* *
Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it.
I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks into this.
Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my home boys and we're
gonna be waiting for your fat *****. I be taking my game console, my game, my
phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
************************************************** **********************
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude like me who breaks into every house in the
world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe?
"He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound
familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I
got your **** wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt
people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your pizza roll
all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you
asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're
***** and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
************************************************** **********************
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
************************************************** **********************
Timmy,
That's what I thought you little *****.
Santa