pupp
05-22-2013, 12:27 PM
been a very tough few weeks for me. My mom called me at work 2 weeks ago to tell me that my brother had commited suicide. I freaked out, left work crying and went to her house. The police were still there waiting for the coroner when I showed up. I could do nothing but cry as we went to the funeral home to make arrangements. The funeral went very well. My brother was a out going give you the shirt off his back type guy, even tho he has 5 kids. he had got in bad trouble and went to jail for a year, when he got out he had no friends or family (other than my mom and my grandmother ) his wife left with the kids and me I wasn't talking to him too much, not since before he went to jail. Now everyone feels so guilty, it didn't have to come to this. Now I'm worried about my mom, she's having a tuff time with this. I'm having a hard time sleeping, waking up 5-6 times a night, and I haven't been able to eat too well yet, she is having the same problem. I was supposed to go back to work this yesterday but went in and took until monday off. I sure hope I can sleep by then.
Here is what I wrote and read at his funeral:
From day one all we did was fight, right up until you
grew up. now all I do is fight back my tears, wishing I
would have apreaciated the gift I was give in you.
I never did tell you all the things I felt, like how much
I really did love you.I wish we could go back and start
over again. I don't want to be alone. I need my brother
You did so much for me, and I feel I did so little for
you. I hope you will forgive me, for all those things I
didn't do. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me
most.
many times you've made me proud, gave Me someone to look
to and comforted me.why couldn't I see you needed me. in
your last year you showed how strong you really were,
facing eveything almost alone, you were always stronger
than me.I've just never been very good at expressing my
feelings like you, but you knew that.
know this is not a good bye, It's me wishing you'll
always watch over us all. Help us in times of need,
comfort us, and help give direction in our lives. We know
how much we all mean to you, and you always wanted the
best for everyone, bringing family together helping
others in need. We thank you for that, your love has made
my world a better place. I love you Brian and will miss
you every day.
and I wrote this too:
as the smoke rises
I see you, you say
I am free,
free from all
that troubled me
you fly away,
but the memories
they do not fade
they'll always be
right here to stay
you flew away
but you don't fade
you're in the clouds
you're here to stay
even tho you went away
We'll be strong
we'll try to keep
on moving along,
until the end
when we'll meet again
Jason D.
Love you Brian
Here is what I wrote and read at his funeral:
From day one all we did was fight, right up until you
grew up. now all I do is fight back my tears, wishing I
would have apreaciated the gift I was give in you.
I never did tell you all the things I felt, like how much
I really did love you.I wish we could go back and start
over again. I don't want to be alone. I need my brother
You did so much for me, and I feel I did so little for
you. I hope you will forgive me, for all those things I
didn't do. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me
most.
many times you've made me proud, gave Me someone to look
to and comforted me.why couldn't I see you needed me. in
your last year you showed how strong you really were,
facing eveything almost alone, you were always stronger
than me.I've just never been very good at expressing my
feelings like you, but you knew that.
know this is not a good bye, It's me wishing you'll
always watch over us all. Help us in times of need,
comfort us, and help give direction in our lives. We know
how much we all mean to you, and you always wanted the
best for everyone, bringing family together helping
others in need. We thank you for that, your love has made
my world a better place. I love you Brian and will miss
you every day.
and I wrote this too:
as the smoke rises
I see you, you say
I am free,
free from all
that troubled me
you fly away,
but the memories
they do not fade
they'll always be
right here to stay
you flew away
but you don't fade
you're in the clouds
you're here to stay
even tho you went away
We'll be strong
we'll try to keep
on moving along,
until the end
when we'll meet again
Jason D.
Love you Brian