Short Redneck Jokes

[ultraman69er]

Q: What do a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?

A: Either way somebody loses a trailer home!
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Q: What do you call a virgin in Kentucky?

A: A girl who can out run her Brothers…
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Q: What’s the difference between a hillbilly wedding and a hillbilly funeral?

A: There’s one less drunk at the funeral.
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Q: What do you call a redneck who has a dog and a cat?

A. Bisexual.
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Q: What is a redneck’s definition of weather?

A: Relative humidity.
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Q: How can you tell if a redneck is married?

A: There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Q: What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room?

A: A full set of teeth.
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Q: How do you tell the Groom at a Nebraska wedding?

A: He’s the hick in the clean bowling shirt
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Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow?

A: She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.
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Q: Who has the right of way any time?

A: The car with gun rack and bumper sticker that reads “Guns don’t kill people, I do.”
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Q: How many rednecks does it take eat a ‘possum?

A: Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.
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Q: What does a redneck say before he gets injured?

A: “Watch this!”

[ultraman69er]

Q: Why do folks from Tennessee go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

A: 17 and under are not admitted.
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Q: Why did O. J. Simpson decide to move to Nebraska?

A: Cos everybody got the same DNA
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Q: How do you castrate a hill billy?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw!
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Q: Why aren’t rednecks circumcised?

A: They need a place to put the tobacco when they shower.
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Q: Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff?

A: He wanted to test out his new air brakes.
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Q: What do you call a redneck with a third grade education?

A: Professor
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Q: What does X X X stand for?

A: 3 rednecks co-signing a note.
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Q: What greeting card is unique to a Redneck? ”

A: Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad”
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Q: How do you know when your staying in a Redneck hotel?

A: When you call the front desk and say “I’ve gotta leak in my sink”, and the person at the front desk says “go ahead.”
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Q: What’s the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?

A: In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it’s a misdemeanor.
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Q: Why do rednecks like the doggie position?

A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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Q: How do rednecks fish?

A: With dynamite
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Q: Why don’t they teach sex education to rednecks?

A: The farm animals can’t handle it.
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Q: What does a 13 year old girl from Tennessee say after sex?

A: ” Git offa me, daddy, you’re crunching my cigarettes!
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Q: Why do true rednecks wear button fly jeans?

A: Because sheep can hear zippers!!

[ultraman69er]

Q: Did you hear that the Governors mansion in Tenessee burned down?

A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
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Q: How do you get 12 rednecks into a phone booth?

A: Tell ‘em it’s free phone sex
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Q: What’s the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?

A: On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin. A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.
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Q: How do you get a hillbilly out of a bathtub?

A: Throw in a bar of soap.
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Q: How’s a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?

A: He sticks his nose in the animal’s ass. If there’s a place for his tongue, it’s a cow.
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Q: How does a redneck take a bubble bath?

A: He farts in a puddle.
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Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonalds on Friday night in Iowa?

A: Prom.
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Q: What do you call a basement full of farmers?

A: A whine-cellar
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Q: What is a Redneck’s defense in court?

A: “Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.”
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Q: Why did God invent armadillos?

A: So that rednecks can have ‘possum on the half shell.
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Q: What do rednecks call duct tape?

A: Chrome.
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Q: Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar Arkansas State Lottery?

A: The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.
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Q: How do you know you’re at a Redneck wedding?

A: Everybody is sittin on the same side of the church
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Q: Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?

A: It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
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Q: Why are there no fly swatters in Kentucky?

A: It’s against the law to kill the State Bird
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Q: What’s a level headed redneck?

A: One with **** coming out BOTH ears.
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Q: What do they call “Hee Haw” in Oklahoma?

A: A documentary.
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Q: What is a Redneck’s defense in court?

A: “Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence.”
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Q: What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a redneck?

A: The good ol’ boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.
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Q: “What’s the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?

” A: Nice tooth!
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Q: What do call 5 sheep tied to a post in Arkansas?

A: The leisure center
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Q: What’s smarter than a smart redneck?

A: A dumb hillbilly.
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Q: What do they call it in Kentucky?

A: “Life Styles of the Rich and Famous.”
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Q: What’s a Rednecks idea of foreplay?

A: Hey sis, get in the back of the truck..
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Q: What’s the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?

A: A northern girl says you can and a southern girl says you all can.