NHL
02-10-2015, 06:03 PM
Q: Why do squirrels swim on there back?
A: To keep their nuts dry!
Q: Why is swimming like sex?
A: When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad.....it's still pretty good.
Q: What kind of stroke can you use on toast?
A: BUTTER-fly!
Q: Why did the blonde keep doing the backstroke?
A: She just had lunch and didn't want to swim on a full stomach.
Q: Why did the teacher jump into the water?
A: She wanted to test the water!
Q: Why did the vegetarians stop swimming?
A: They didn't like meets!
Q: What's the hardest thing about wearing a speedo?
A: Telling your parents that your gay!
Q: How do swimmers clean themselves?
A: They wash up on shore!
Q: Why wasn't the blonde afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?
A: Because it was a man-eating shark!
Q: Why did the girl have problems swimming?
A: She didn’t have boy-ancy! (Buoyancy)
Q: Why can male elephants swim whenever they want?
A: They always have trunks with them!
Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.
Q: What kind of fish can't swim?
A: A dead one.
Q: What is a polar bear's favorite stroke?
A: Blubber-fly!
Q: What do you call a competitive swimmer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Q: What detergent do swimmers use to wash their wet suit?
A: Tide!
Q: Did you hear about the slow swimmer?
A: He could only do the crawl.
Q: What do you call a swim team made up of blondes?
A: Hydrogens.
Q: Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
A: Lake Eerie
Q: Where do zombies like to go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea
Q: What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?
A: One with great seed times!
Q: What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common?
A: They both use drills!
Q: What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer?
A: Pool-ups!
Q. In which direction does a chicken swim?
A. Cluck-wise!
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.
Q: Why should you never swim on a full stomach?
A: Because it's easier to swim in water!
Q: What kind of dive are infantry men best at?
A: Cannon-ball
Q: How do people swimming in the ocean say HI to each other?
A: They Wave!
Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks.
Q: What did the blonde write on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking!
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: How do you know if your swimming pool needs cleaning?
A: Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first.
A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke.
That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke...
Swimming in the swimming pool
Is where I like to "B"
Wearing underwater goggles
So that I can "C"
Yesterday, before I swam
I took a cup of "T"
Now the swimming pool had become a swimming ool
Because I took a "P"
A: To keep their nuts dry!
Q: Why is swimming like sex?
A: When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad.....it's still pretty good.
Q: What kind of stroke can you use on toast?
A: BUTTER-fly!
Q: Why did the blonde keep doing the backstroke?
A: She just had lunch and didn't want to swim on a full stomach.
Q: Why did the teacher jump into the water?
A: She wanted to test the water!
Q: Why did the vegetarians stop swimming?
A: They didn't like meets!
Q: What's the hardest thing about wearing a speedo?
A: Telling your parents that your gay!
Q: How do swimmers clean themselves?
A: They wash up on shore!
Q: Why wasn't the blonde afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?
A: Because it was a man-eating shark!
Q: Why did the girl have problems swimming?
A: She didn’t have boy-ancy! (Buoyancy)
Q: Why can male elephants swim whenever they want?
A: They always have trunks with them!
Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.
Q: What kind of fish can't swim?
A: A dead one.
Q: What is a polar bear's favorite stroke?
A: Blubber-fly!
Q: What do you call a competitive swimmer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Q: What detergent do swimmers use to wash their wet suit?
A: Tide!
Q: Did you hear about the slow swimmer?
A: He could only do the crawl.
Q: What do you call a swim team made up of blondes?
A: Hydrogens.
Q: Where do ghosts like to go swimming?
A: Lake Eerie
Q: Where do zombies like to go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea
Q: What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?
A: One with great seed times!
Q: What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common?
A: They both use drills!
Q: What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer?
A: Pool-ups!
Q. In which direction does a chicken swim?
A. Cluck-wise!
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.
Q: Why should you never swim on a full stomach?
A: Because it's easier to swim in water!
Q: What kind of dive are infantry men best at?
A: Cannon-ball
Q: How do people swimming in the ocean say HI to each other?
A: They Wave!
Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks.
Q: What did the blonde write on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking!
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: How do you know if your swimming pool needs cleaning?
A: Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first.
A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke.
That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke...
Swimming in the swimming pool
Is where I like to "B"
Wearing underwater goggles
So that I can "C"
Yesterday, before I swam
I took a cup of "T"
Now the swimming pool had become a swimming ool
Because I took a "P"