Another Monday Moaner

[bigbadbrother]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as


'HILLBILLIES. '


You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS.


And, furthermore...


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1.. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' -
She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not 'EASY' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' -
She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' -
She is a

'PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT'...
He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'


3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '


4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS ' - He develops a case of

'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'


6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'REAR CLEAVAGE. '