Foxworthy On Muslims

[jazzman]

Have you ever wondered why it's OK to make jokes about Catholics, Mormons, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad golfers, Red-Necks etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims?
We need to level the playing field for the sake of political correctness.....
Foxworthy on Muslims:

1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor,
You may be a Muslim.


2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes,
You may be a Muslim.


3. If you have more wives than teeth,
You may be a Muslim.


4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean,
You may be a Muslim.


5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim


6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against,
You may be a Muslim.


7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,
You may be a Muslim.


8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs,
You may be a Muslim.


9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four,
You may be a Muslim.

[dogdayz]

Jeff Foxworthy, the voice of reason!

[bucko]

A Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a
Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating fresh shrimp.

Every time he ate one, he spat the tail in her
direction, requiring her to deflect it.

He finished the box and threw it out the window.

Seeing this, she had enough, and pulled the Emergency Cord.

The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing
that, you stupid, Infidel, worthless Catholic bitch.”

She laughed and said, “When I cry out rape and they
smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years, you towel headed camel-f****ker !
******************************

[bucko]

why not one more.......................

A Muslim Dies And Goes Up To Heaven

A Muslim dies and goes up to heaven. He’s stopped at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who says “Sorry, but we don’t allow Muslims into Heaven!”

“What?” replies the Muslim, “Why not?”

“Well, we just don’t!”

The Muslim complains and carries on until Saint Peter gets fed up, “Well,” says Saint Peter, “have you ever done anything good in you life?”

“Erm …” the Muslim replies, “yeah, just the other day a lady stopped me on the street collecting for a children’s charity so I gave her ten dollars. Then last week I also donated ten dollars to the American Cancer Society. Plus a couple of weeks ago a tramp asked me if I could spare any money so I gave him ten dollars too!”

“Alrighty then,” says Saint Peter, “let me go and have a quick word with God.”

Five minutes later Saint Peter returns and says to the Muslim, “Listen, I’ve spoken with God and He agrees with me – here’s your 30 bucks back, now screw off!”