I love you Lina

[n3uspeed2]

http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z130/ALwAySaJOY/Angels/Beautiful.jpg

My daughter passed away in my arms a year ago today after her long fight with leukemia that took her life. She was eight years old and the most beautiful and wonderful child any parent could ever ask for. She brought so much joy into my life and I never loved anyone as much as I did her. When you have to watch a child full of life fighting and struggling to live it just kills you inside. It's almost easier for you to wish you were dead then to have watch someone so you love so much suffer. I feel that way...I do wish I was dead... I wish so many times that I would die so that could be with her. I can never fall asleep because everytime I close my eyes I have to see it over and over again. She told me that she's tired...and she loves me and shes going go to sleep. I feel sorry for my children because I deprived of my love and to my wife because all of the bitterness and anger that I have in my heart. Never expected that something so small could effect me so much. Makes me afraid to love anything.... or anyone. I visit her every morning before the sun rises and every evening before the sun goes down. I promised her that I would never leave her alone and I kept that promise. I'm sorry you have to see me like this and if I could you my last breathe I would....just to hold you even for just a minute... Where ever you are I want you to be safe...and know that Daddy & Mommie loves you so dearly. I always want you to come to see me and i'll always wait for you. I count the days until I'm with you again.

I
love you Lina.......

[dishdude714]

I cant believe its already been a year n3uspeed2. I am sorry to hear about your little angel. I know shes up in heaven looking down on her daddy

[TPB]

I can remember our discussion a few months back about Lina and how moved I was with your story N3. That conversation has stayed with me and you and your family have been held close in my prayers. I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through but always know you have a friend here if you ever need to just talk. I am a click away.

Peace be with you and your wife bud.

[abby]

wow what do ya say to someting like that,bad things happen to good people just remember she is always with you no matter what, and no one can take that.

god bless you all.

[sleddy2008]

Speed, my condolences I can't even imagine what you are going through.

[levis]

Your words touched me deeply and made me sad. As a father of 2 grown children I can understand the love that you feel for her and can only imagine the pain in the wake of Lina's departure. I do believe that there is more to the universe than what we are cognitive to. She now is part of a differant realm but is never far from your side. You will be re-united as a family again when the time is right. For now you are in the company of an angel. Your words are those of someone who has gained a powerful fortitude that only others who share the same experiance have. This fortitude will help you endure and only time will lesson the pain, the anger, the bitterness. You will be rewarded in the end. I write this in part because of the brief period I have been a member of this forum, I have seen the dedication in how you help others. I wish the best for you and your family.
Godspeed.

John

[theprinceofsorts]

Lina was a gift, a precious one, and sadly, one not meant to last. But you have memories for the rest of your life.
T'is better to love and have lost than not to have loved at all.

[whiteheather]

My dear friend Sp33d
it does not seem a year ago, when you and I talked...many times, my friend now things will get easier, now that the first year has gone, i know you will never forget, and you shouldn't, my friend it is now time for you to let go, and your love for her will never die, but that love has to be given to your family now, dont forget them, they also went through a trying time, be there for them, each and every day, tell them off your love for them, let them know that you need them, as they need you, take each day as it comes, and we pray it is many years before you are with your loving Lina...remember she is looking down upon you, and knows of your love for her...she does understand....but my friend it is time to move on with your life, all will be well......this I know.

Your Friend

Whiteheather (Charlie)

[jessbernal59]

SP33d!...I feel sorry to hear from you, the tragic history for the lost or passed of your beutiful loveones, belated condelence from my family, we all know that the angels of the lord will look after her at the heavens God say let be childrens of God come to me and i made them the children of heaven and i prapered a place for them to live. We all know that There is no excuse at all, even thou what kind of peoples your are rich or poor everybody will face this kind of tragedy ( death ), because the wages of sins is death. But God promise to us not worry, God love us he give he's only begotten son (Jesus) who ever beleiveth on him shall not be perished but shall have an eternal life. Again condelences!.. My family and Your family a part of my prayer.:wove::wove::wove:

[lpinoy]

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family N3.

lpinoy....

[chuck]

speed, there is nothing in life more precious than the love of a father and his child. the feelings you have are normal and expected. i read your post and makes me think of my little one...she is 7. beautifull are the children. again, i am sorry for your loss.

[aide]

I have a 2 and 3 year old and I could not imagine having to be as strong as you are about the loss. i know you have a little angle watching over you.
Godspeed

[OddJob]

My parents suffered through the loss of two of their four children .

A parent should never have to experience that .

I lost a younger brother and sister way too prematurely .

Was also witness to the extreme grief that my Mom and Dad endured .

Years later now the suffering and grief has diminished but not the fond
memories that I will always cherish .

A prayer goes to you and your family bro .

OddJob
__________________

[profit]

Speedy my prayers are with you. May GOD bless you.