chicot60
02-26-2016, 10:52 PM
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right!
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
ring sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.
My wife's not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. she said, "all kids smell that way".
My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit.
My dog needed training, so I brought him into the bedroom at night. From me he learned how to beg. My wife taught him how to roll over and play dead.
I tell ya, I'm getting old. I got no sex life. I get tired just holding up the magazine. At my age, I like to get sex over quickly. Then I can get to the nap.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What'll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
ring sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
It's tough to stay married. My wife says no because she's tired then stays up and reads her book.
My wife's not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. she said, "all kids smell that way".
My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There are a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit.
My dog needed training, so I brought him into the bedroom at night. From me he learned how to beg. My wife taught him how to roll over and play dead.
I tell ya, I'm getting old. I got no sex life. I get tired just holding up the magazine. At my age, I like to get sex over quickly. Then I can get to the nap.