TNA iMPACT! Results - March 29, 2010

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TNA iMPACT! Results
March 29, 2010

TNA iMPACT! Opener:
[Q1] Footage aired of the Eric Bischoff, Jeff Jarrett, and Mick Foley saga, culminating in last week's Jarrett vs. Foley loser leaves town match. Tonight's show is entitled "V for Vigilante." ...

Jarrett and Hulk Hogan spoke in Hogan's office. Hogan said he respected the professional Jarrett has shown and apologized for Bischoff. He said if Jarrett could defeat A.J. Styles tonight, he would be the number one contender for the TNA Championship after Lockdown...

Black Machismo came in and said he knew Hogan would not be around for the show tonight. He suggested he take over for Hogan tonight. They played off of the Mega Powers history between Hogan and Randy Savage, complete with their delayed handshake...

The opening video aired and fireworks lit up the Impact Zone. Mike Tenay and Taz welcomed us to the show. They ran down tonight's card. The Wolfpac music hit and The Band, led by Bubba the Love Sponge, made their way to the ring.

Bubba said everyone wishes they could be him. He said he doesn't need this job, but if he is going to work for TNA, he is going to hang out with people like The Band. He said no offense to Jeremy Borash or Christy Hemme, but he will interview the legends from this point forward.

Nash took the mic and said he wanted to apologize to Eric Young. He called Young out to the ring. Eric obliged and made his entrance without any music. The crowd chanted "This is boring." Nash said what he did was business and not personal. He offered Young a spot in The Band.

Young attacked all four men but the numbers game took their toll. "Big mistake," screamed Nash. They got the best of Young until Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam made the save. Hardy said they wanted to have the match right now, but they would wait until the main event slot and do it in a steel cage... [C]

[Q2] 1. Kazarian and Shannon Moore defeated Doug Williams and Brian Kendrick in 4:28. The hometowns of wrestlers in TNA are hilarious. Kazarian is from "Southern California." Young is from "Canada." Way to narrow it down guys. Myself, Powell, and Shore are in three different American time zones, but in TNA, we'd all be "from the United States."

Kendrick and Williams worked well together even though Williams badmouthed the X Division wrestlers. Kendrick was impressive on offense. Moore nearly pinned Williams after a top rope hurricarana. A combination move, spin kick by Moore into a German suplex by Kazarian, looked like it broke Kendrick's neck. Moore scored the pin on Kendrick...

After the match, Moore applied black lipstick to Kendrick's face while Williams looked on from the ramp...

Backstage, Bischoff was on the phone before telling his assistant to keep Machismo away from him. He came in anyway and gave Bischoff a card for tonight, consisting of the Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik, Akeem vs. Koko B. Ware, and the JYD vs. King Kong Bundy. Bischoff told him to focus on the main event. Lethal said he would come up with something...

The Pope was shown walking through the backstage area... [C]

[Q3] The Pope made his way to the ring for his promo. He will face Desmond Wolfe later in the show. Pope said his match with Styles at Lockdown is a moment he has been waiting for his entire life. He said Ric Flair tried to jeopardize his chance. He said Flair was a boy fifty years ago and it was time to grow up.

Pope told Styles to go to the Kennedy Center in Florida and steal an astronaut suit because he was going to take him to the outer limits at Lockdown. Okay. Pope gave a Flair-like rhyming line. The crowd chanted "Pope is pimpin'."

Wolfe's valet, Chelsea, made her way to the ring. She said there was one thing Pope could do for her. She said she has always had everything she wanted, but Pope could do something for her. She asked him if she could "be a ho." He asked if she could drive a stick.

Wolfe tried to attack Pope from behind but Pope saw it coming. He cut Wolfe off and left him laying on the floor. He then kissed Chelsea, laid her on the mat, and stuffed a hundred dollar bill in her dress...

Tara was shown walking through the backstage area... [C]

A Samoa Joe sighting! Joe was shivering as he cut a promo in front of a Blair Witch Project camera. He said "They have spoken and the results will be different. Different." ...

Orlando Jordan was lowered from the top of the Impact Zone into the ring. He was wearing police caution tape. He made his way to a couch with his male and female companion waiting for him. They abruptly cut backstage. JB did not know what to make of what we just saw...

JB interviewed Tara backstage. She said tonight's match was not about the TNA Knockout Championship, it was about revenge. Daffney stole Poison and tonight was about blood. Daffney attacked Tara and they brawled backstage.

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Q4] They continued to go at it backstage and Tenay announced their match, for the Knockout Championship, would take place after the commercial break... [C]

The women fought onto the stage and the bell rang to start the match...

2. Tara defeated Daffney in a First Blood Match to retain the TNA Knockout Championship in 3:29. Daffney dragged Tara to the ring with a camera cord. Daffney broke a broom in half and tried to use it as a spike. They did the "almost poked it through your eye" spot but Tara stopped it. Tara hit the Widow's Peak. She then hit Daffney with a tool box and she barely bled...

After the match, Daffney enjoyed the fact she was bleeding. She licked her own blood off of her finger...

A.J. Styles, Ric Flair, and Chelsea pushing Flair's wheelchair, made their way through the backstage area... [C]

The same video featuring Bischoff, Jarrett, and Foley that aired earlier was shown again. Foley was fired from TNA after losing to Jarrett last week...

[Q5] 3. A.J. Styles (with Ric Flair and Chelsea) defeated Jeff Jarrett in a non-title match in 17:15. Styles countered everything Jarrett did early on, much to the delight of Flair. Jarrett hit a series of moves and strutted while looking at Flair. Styles regained the advantage.

Styles quickly worked on the leg and then put on the figure four leg lock. Jarrett broke the hold and applied one of his own. Flair continued to use his crutch to aide Styles, but the referee sent Flair to the back. From the raised ramp, Jarrett whipped Styles back into the ring... [C]

A.J. was in control coming back from the break. He grounded Jarrett with a reverse chinlock. The crowd chanted for Jarrett as he attempted to fight back and gain control. He hit a very elevated backdrop. He followed with a Pedigree (yes, a Pedigree) for a two count.

[Q6] Styles came back and hit a springboard forearm. I think the referee counted to three but said Jarrett rolled out of the pinfall attempt. Weird spot. Flair was rolled back out. This distracted the referee, who was knocked violently from the apron after an Irish whip.

Jarrett hit a top rope stroke but nobody was around to count the three. Bischoff entered and tried to hit Jarrett with a guitar, but Jarrett stopped him. Styles hit a low blow and the Styles Clash. Bischoff revived the referee and he slowly counted to three...

Young, RVD, and Hardy cut a promo backstage. Young thanked his partners for doing the right thing. Hardy said guys like The Band could not shine his boots. Young asked Nash to look at both teams and wonder who traded up... [C]

Black Machismo stopped Bischoff backstage. He said he booked Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. The Model in tonight's main event. Bischoff said Machismo himself deserved to be in the ring tonight and his match was right now. He sent him on his way...

4. Black Machismo defeated Beer Money in a handicap match in 2:14. Beer Money toyed with him for the entire match. Storm went to grab a beer and Lethal rolled up Roode with a small package and pinned him. Afterward, Bischoff and Beer Money were livid...

The Pope was shown preparing for his match against Desmond Wolfe... [C]

[Q7] Tenay and Taz talked about the serious situation, in their serious voices, of Matt Morgan injuring Hernandez last week on Impact. They said Hernandez will be out for several months with a neck injury...

5. Desmond Wolfe (with Chelsea) defeated D'Angelo Dinero in 4:06. Chelsea has been all over the show tonight. She looked pissed when Pope was in control. She looked very pleased when Wolfe took advantage of the match. Wolfe's focus of attack was Pope's shoulder.

Pope came back and hit all of his signature spots. Chelsea stepped on the apron and distracted the referee with her leg. Wolfe went old school and pulled a chain out of his tights. He wrapped it around his fist and knocked out Pope. He replaced it in his tights and scored the pinfall...

They plugged tonight's six man tag main event... [C]

[Q8] Kurt Angle made his way to the ring, much to the surprise of the announce team. He entered the ring, which already was surrounded by the cage. Angle cut a promo on Mr. Anderson. He said he has made a living on winning and playing by the rules.

He said he lost control at the last pay-per-view. He said they would face for the last time at Lockdown. He said the end of the match would have Angle covered in Anderson's blood. Anderson's music hit and he grabbed his house mic from the stage.

Anderson said this feud had to end. He said they've gone back and forth and it will end at Lockdown. He said Eric Bischoff booked a ladder match between Angle and Anderson for next week's Impact. At the top of the ladder, there will be a key to open the lock on the cage at Lockdown.

Anderson said the best man would not win at Lockdown because Angle is a better man than him. He said Kurt was a nice guy but nice guys always finish last. He said, "Thank God I'm an *******..... *******." Anderson left and Angle looked on from the ring stoically...

As Angle made his way up the ramp, the Wolfpac music hit and The Band made their entrance. Nash and Angle did the "Too Sweet" finger high five. Taz reminded us they still respect each other from their time in the Main Event Mafia... [C]

[Overrun] 6. Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam, and Eric Young defeated Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Syxx Pac in a steel cage match in 3:57. The Band attacked their opponents before they entered the cage. They locked Young out of the cage and it turned into a three-on-two match. They used the advantage to enjoy the early advantage

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Anderson said the best man would not win at Lockdown because Angle is a better man than him. He said Kurt was a nice guy but nice guys always finish last. He said, "Thank God I'm an *******..... *******." Anderson left and Angle looked on from the ring stoically...

As Angle made his way up the ramp, the Wolfpac music hit and The Band made their entrance. Nash and Angle did the "Too Sweet" finger high five. Taz reminded us they still respect each other from their time in the Main Event Mafia... [C]

[Overrun] 6. Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam, and Eric Young defeated Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Syxx Pac in a steel cage match in 3:57. The Band attacked their opponents before they entered the cage. They locked Young out of the cage and it turned into a three-on-two match. They used the advantage to enjoy the early advantage.

Hardy and RVD turned the tides though. Young climbed the cage and all three members of The Band were on the mat. RVD and Jeff Hardy hit the Five Star and Swanton respectively from the ropes. Young, from the top of the cage, hit an elbow on Syxx Pac for the win...

Backstage, Abyss cut a promo and picked Jeff Jarrett as the second member of Team Hogan for Lethal Lockdown. Jarrett cut a promo and said he was proud to be on Hogan's team. RVD and Hardy were shown slapping hands with the fans...