Justdroppedin
02-19-2020, 10:41 PM
Some time ago when I was hitchhiking through the deep South, a fella who gave me a ride invited me to a redneck wedding. Now this was a proper wedding, two days of tractor pulls, shooting **** and falling down drunk off moonshine, before we were finally assembled in the chapel for the big ceremony on the third day.
So we're all standing around, sweating our balls off waiting for the damned wedding to happen when the groom rushes down the aisle, stands up at the front like he's about to make a big announcement.
But before he can say anything, his pa shouts out, "son, what the hell is goin' on? Where's your damn bride?"
"Pa! I'm callin' off the weddin'."
"Whaaaaaaat?" Came his pa's angry reply.
The son is trembling at this point, but manages to say "I'm sorry Pa, but I gotta! I found out she were a virgin."
His pa is silent for a moment while he considers this. Then with an enormous sigh he says, "quite right son, quite right. If she weren't good enough for her own family, she weren't good enough for ours."
So we're all standing around, sweating our balls off waiting for the damned wedding to happen when the groom rushes down the aisle, stands up at the front like he's about to make a big announcement.
But before he can say anything, his pa shouts out, "son, what the hell is goin' on? Where's your damn bride?"
"Pa! I'm callin' off the weddin'."
"Whaaaaaaat?" Came his pa's angry reply.
The son is trembling at this point, but manages to say "I'm sorry Pa, but I gotta! I found out she were a virgin."
His pa is silent for a moment while he considers this. Then with an enormous sigh he says, "quite right son, quite right. If she weren't good enough for her own family, she weren't good enough for ours."