Justdroppedin
08-17-2020, 02:32 PM
I caught my son chewing electrical cords
So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.
:guitar:
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye test.
The optician showed him a card. On the card were the letters “C Z W I X N O S T A C Z”.
“Can you read this?” the optician asked.
“Read it?” the Polish man replied, “I know the guy.”
:grr:
My husband has left me because I'm insecure
Oh no he's back, he just went to get coffee
:puke:
A woman was gathering plates in her kitchen...
Her boyfriend comes from behind and very playfully starts to kiss her on the neck.
Her : Babe, stop it, I'm trying to put a load in the dishwasher.
Him : Yeah, me too.
:tehe:
Job interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Me: That's when i went to yale.
Interviewer: That's impressive. Your hired
Me: Thanks i really needed this yob.
:laughat:
I met a kid outside the mall crying, he had lost his $200...
...so I gave him $40 from the $200 I found.
When God blesses you, you must bless others.
:bawl:
My wife is pregnant with a boy and i want to call him Lance
My wife said its such an uncommon name.
So i told her back in medieval days people were called Lance a lot
:D
So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.
:guitar:
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye test.
The optician showed him a card. On the card were the letters “C Z W I X N O S T A C Z”.
“Can you read this?” the optician asked.
“Read it?” the Polish man replied, “I know the guy.”
:grr:
My husband has left me because I'm insecure
Oh no he's back, he just went to get coffee
:puke:
A woman was gathering plates in her kitchen...
Her boyfriend comes from behind and very playfully starts to kiss her on the neck.
Her : Babe, stop it, I'm trying to put a load in the dishwasher.
Him : Yeah, me too.
:tehe:
Job interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Me: That's when i went to yale.
Interviewer: That's impressive. Your hired
Me: Thanks i really needed this yob.
:laughat:
I met a kid outside the mall crying, he had lost his $200...
...so I gave him $40 from the $200 I found.
When God blesses you, you must bless others.
:bawl:
My wife is pregnant with a boy and i want to call him Lance
My wife said its such an uncommon name.
So i told her back in medieval days people were called Lance a lot
:D