torpainter
11-16-2010, 06:35 PM
Cathal Kelly
Staff Reporter
Several factors must combine to create a truly legendary soccer miss.
First, the game must be on the line.
Second, the result must really mean something.
Third, it has to be the sort of goal that you could have scored. Yes, you. While carrying a man on your shoulders. Shortly after being pepper-sprayed and spun around.
Fourth, the spurned opportunity should have been preceded by a defensive blunder so atrocious, one feels that God wanted this goal to be scored. And now you – the failed scorer – have invited His wrath and, possibly, unbalanced the future of mankind from His plan.
On all counts, this is that sort of miss.
On Monday, Qatar and Uzbekistan played a Round of 16 match during the Asia Games.
With the score locked at 0-0, the game entered extra time. An Uzbek defender got the ball on the wing, with his back to his own goal. Sensing danger, he passed back to his ’keeper, Timur Juraev.
Juraev then . . . well, I’m not sure what the hell Juraev is doing. It looks like an Uzbek sword dance, but with a soccer ball. Whatever he’s doing, it’s looks fatal to his team’s chances.
Juraev steps over the ball, out of the play and then falls down.
On-rushing 18-year-old Qatari, Fahad Khalfan, suddenly finds himself alone on the touchline with the ball, just off to the side of a completely empty net.
A soccer net, when empty, is quite large. It’s 24 feet wide. Wide enough to literally drive a truck through. Maybe two of them.
For some reason, Khalfan decides that simply running the ball into the net isn’t enough. Irish soccer legend George Best once said that his dream was to score a goal on his hands and knees by heading it across the line. This was that sort of opportunity.
Khalfan’s coming in from the left. Which is a problem since he is left-footed. Really, really left-footed. That’s the only reason to explain why he decides to awkwardly strike the ball with the outside of his favoured foot.
It still doesn’t explain how Khalfan manages to sweep the ball aaaaaall the way across the face of goal and onto the far post, where it bounces out.
English is not the primary language in Qatar. But it may be the primary swearing language in Qatar, based on our amateur lip-reading of Khalfan’s reaction.
It might have made an amusing anecdote if Uzbekistan hadn’t gone on to score, taking the game 1-0.
The only upside here? Fahad Khalfan is young. So he’s got a lot of time to live this down or, failing that, to disassemble the Internet and all record of this miss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyNdt9yVugk&feature=player_embedded
Staff Reporter
Several factors must combine to create a truly legendary soccer miss.
First, the game must be on the line.
Second, the result must really mean something.
Third, it has to be the sort of goal that you could have scored. Yes, you. While carrying a man on your shoulders. Shortly after being pepper-sprayed and spun around.
Fourth, the spurned opportunity should have been preceded by a defensive blunder so atrocious, one feels that God wanted this goal to be scored. And now you – the failed scorer – have invited His wrath and, possibly, unbalanced the future of mankind from His plan.
On all counts, this is that sort of miss.
On Monday, Qatar and Uzbekistan played a Round of 16 match during the Asia Games.
With the score locked at 0-0, the game entered extra time. An Uzbek defender got the ball on the wing, with his back to his own goal. Sensing danger, he passed back to his ’keeper, Timur Juraev.
Juraev then . . . well, I’m not sure what the hell Juraev is doing. It looks like an Uzbek sword dance, but with a soccer ball. Whatever he’s doing, it’s looks fatal to his team’s chances.
Juraev steps over the ball, out of the play and then falls down.
On-rushing 18-year-old Qatari, Fahad Khalfan, suddenly finds himself alone on the touchline with the ball, just off to the side of a completely empty net.
A soccer net, when empty, is quite large. It’s 24 feet wide. Wide enough to literally drive a truck through. Maybe two of them.
For some reason, Khalfan decides that simply running the ball into the net isn’t enough. Irish soccer legend George Best once said that his dream was to score a goal on his hands and knees by heading it across the line. This was that sort of opportunity.
Khalfan’s coming in from the left. Which is a problem since he is left-footed. Really, really left-footed. That’s the only reason to explain why he decides to awkwardly strike the ball with the outside of his favoured foot.
It still doesn’t explain how Khalfan manages to sweep the ball aaaaaall the way across the face of goal and onto the far post, where it bounces out.
English is not the primary language in Qatar. But it may be the primary swearing language in Qatar, based on our amateur lip-reading of Khalfan’s reaction.
It might have made an amusing anecdote if Uzbekistan hadn’t gone on to score, taking the game 1-0.
The only upside here? Fahad Khalfan is young. So he’s got a lot of time to live this down or, failing that, to disassemble the Internet and all record of this miss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyNdt9yVugk&feature=player_embedded