Toby and the chainsaw

[chuck]

so, young toby is helping his uncle in the forest.

uncle says, ' toby, go get that there chainsaw, and cut those trees down. that there saw can cut 25 trees in an hour!'.

so toby, goes off to cut trees.

about 4 hours later, the uncle returns, and see's toby only has one tree cut?

'what happened there toby? you only got one tree cut?', says the uncle.

'i dunno'?, says young toby, 'its that saw!'

so uncle goes over and fires up the saw..."wriiinggg,,wrinnngggg.....wriinnggggg.....

'WHATS THAT SOUND???!!!!!', cries young toby!!!!

[gumby]

hey some are just not smart as others...what can u do

[tinbinder]

Thats the ones you throw up and shoot with a shotgun!

[chuck]

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“