Irish Humor

[mclovin]

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
Life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of
The night." *

*She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" *

*John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
Beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at
The pub with a toast abou you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
Only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the
Other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."*

[turn2stone]

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin Ireland. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we’ve decided to give the Norwegian the job."

Murphy, "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job."

Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong."

Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?"

Manager, "Simple. On question number 7, the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don’t know.' You put down, ‘Neither do I'."