TNA Impact Wrestling Report for September 1st, 2011

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By MarcMiddleton <br />
9/2/2011 <br />
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We are “live” in Huntsville, Alabama as the announcers welcome us. It looks WAY better than the Impact Zone. <br />
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Hulk Hogan comes out and says that the Network...

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Lynn does his signature pose on the stage, showing Van Dam that he took away Rob’s chance at the title.

Match itself was decent, although they had waaaay too much going on outside with the Joe-Morgan angle right before the Lynn interference.

All the Knockouts are revealed on the stage and head to the ring for Eric Bischoff’s big announcement.

Bischoff and Traci Brooks come to the ring. The Knockouts are assembled and waiting in the ring. Brooks is all over Bischoff. Does TNA expect us to forget they already established she’s Kazarian’s wife? Brooks looks like she’s about to be named President.

Bischoff butters up the women by saying he’s never worked with a more talented group and they are incredible. He said that the Knockouts are the heart and soul of the company, are ratings getters and one of the keys to success for the company.

He said that doesn’t change the fact that they are women who don’t know when to keep their mouths shut and can’t keep focus. He said all the sexual innuendo is driving him up a wall, which is why when Brooks convinced him that only a woman knows how to “manage another woman.” He says they worked “long and hard” and Brooks proved she’d be able to do “almost anything” for the company, so he’d like to introduce the new VP of the Knockouts division.

He sets up Traci like she’s getting a big introduction but instead introduces Karen Jarrett. Karen comes out with Jeff Jarrett, brandishing the Mexican title. All the women are upset, especially Brooks. Jeff heads to the back.

Karen says its their lucky day and Bischoff made the right decision. “Karen sucks” chant. She told the women that she’s proud of all of them but they have a long way to go. She said that she’s a lady and the rest of them are no and have no etiquette. “She’s a ho” chant. Jarrett said that all of them will learn to walk with honor, dignity and Jarrett. Oh dear God, they are going to do Pygmalion with all the women.

Jarrett announced Jackie Moore and ODB have been hired full-time on the roster. She tells Brooks that she knows that she is disappointed but there is still a place for her in the company – beneath Jarrett. She tells her that Brooks will be Jarrett’s executive assistant. She mocks Brooks and tells her that as long as she kisses Jarrett’s ass, she’ll be employed. She warns the others to do as they are told or they’ll be back stripping.

We come back from commercial and see that Mickie James and Winter got into it during the break, previewing their match later tonight.

Austin Aries & Kid Kash vs. Brian Kendrick & Jesse Sorensen

I got a kick out of Kendrick’s wacky outfit and walk to the ring. Kash and Aries start off. Aries teased locking up, then immediately tagged out to Kash. The announcers tried to claim the weight limit has defined the X-Division.

Kash is caught in an hiptoss and a deep armdrag. Sorensen tagged in and nailed a dropkick then a hiptoss and armdrag of his own. Sorensen doesn’t seem to be too pissed given what happened with Kash a few weeks back. Kash catches him with a slam and tagged Aries, who drops a leaping elbow and stomps his face.

Aries drilled Sorensen into Kash’s boot. The heels tag in and out, cutting the ring off. So far so good. Sorensen battled his way out of the corner but was cut off. He shoved Kash into Aries, then dropkicked them both at the same time.

Sorensen made the tag to Kendrick, who cleaned house on both of his opponents. He nailed Aries with an enziguiri. Sorensen was tagged in but Kendrick was shoved into the corner as Sorensen climbed to the top. This set up a Tower of Doom out of the corner, although it seemed a little off.

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Kash charged Soresen but was backdropped to the floor. Sorensen was brought to the floor and shoved into the railing. Aries drilled him with a crazy dive. Kendrick hit a tope to the outside on Aries...

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With the exception of the second attempt at interference by Love, which led to everything falling apart briefly, a solid back and forth match. <br />
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Video feature on the Chris Daniels vs. AJ Styles bout...

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As Styles was down hurt, Daniels celebrated on the ropes, having finally proven he was good enough. <br />
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After a replay, we see Styles offer a handshake. Daniels backs off and then leaves the ring...