chicot60
11-02-2011, 01:56 AM
This is a test for men only, however, women will also benefit by
reviewing
them
so that they get to understand men and thereby enrich their own lives.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and
you are
the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
friendship, they
present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is
capable
of
curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy,
wiping out
hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence
all
over the entire earth.
You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you
miss the
most?
A. Innocence
B. Idealism
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard
for
narrow-minded social conventions. B. When he is the Pope (but not on
the
lips)! C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is
the only
really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons,
you have
to have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5 You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a
football
game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue
sky,
tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer
bear
the
uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says
she's
not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe
that you
have some kind of future together.
What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you
don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot
honestly
say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and
you
don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope. C. That you cannot
believe
the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want
to
spend
the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the
world has
to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name,
and when
she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the
stars
in
her eyes, you tell her. C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to
get
your
three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "We have three of them?"
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new
holes so
large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your
legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and
has to
be handled with tweezers. C. It is never okay to throw away veteran
underwear.
A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are
not
naming names, (but this would be his wife) is secretly and sneakely
trying to
discard his underwear.
9. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
10. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
fact
that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before
they
finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
finally
got
there. C. He refused to ask for directions.
Of course all "real men" will have answered "C" to all of these
questions.
As Carl Marx said...... "Truth flies out the door when rumor comes
innuendo."
reviewing
them
so that they get to understand men and thereby enrich their own lives.
1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and
you are
the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
friendship, they
present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is
capable
of
curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy,
wiping out
hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence
all
over the entire earth.
You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.
2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you
miss the
most?
A. Innocence
B. Idealism
C. Cherry bombs.
3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard
for
narrow-minded social conventions. B. When he is the Pope (but not on
the
lips)! C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is
the only
really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons,
you have
to have him killed.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.
5 You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a
football
game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue
sky,
tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer
bear
the
uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says
she's
not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe
that you
have some kind of future together.
What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you
don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot
honestly
say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and
you
don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope. C. That you cannot
believe
the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen.
6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want
to
spend
the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the
world has
to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name,
and when
she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the
stars
in
her eyes, you tell her. C. Tell her what?
7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to
get
your
three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "We have three of them?"
8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new
holes so
large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your
legs.
B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and
has to
be handled with tweezers. C. It is never okay to throw away veteran
underwear.
A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are
not
naming names, (but this would be his wife) is secretly and sneakely
trying to
discard his underwear.
9. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.
10. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
fact
that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before
they
finally got to the Promised Land?
A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
finally
got
there. C. He refused to ask for directions.
Of course all "real men" will have answered "C" to all of these
questions.
As Carl Marx said...... "Truth flies out the door when rumor comes
innuendo."