mj420
03-13-2012, 07:05 PM
The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man
should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a
sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My
specialty is babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come
in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we
start?"
Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try
two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a
couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too. You can really spread out!"
Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, liv ing room floor? No
wonder it didn't work for my husband and me."
Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee
a good one every time. But if we try several
different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."
Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must
take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five
minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
sure."
Wife (muttering) - "Don't I know it."
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the
top of a bus."
Wife - "Oh my god!"
Photographer - "And these twins turned out
exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was
so difficult to work with."
Wife - "She was difficult?"
Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to
take her to the park to get the job done right. People
were crow ding around four and five deep, pushing to
get a good look."
Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).
Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours,
too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -
I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness
approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when
the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
packed it all in."
Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually
chewed on your equipment?"
Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're
ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to
work"
Wife - "Tripod?"
Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest
my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very
long. Madam! Madam! Good Lord, she's fainted!"
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man
should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a
sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to...."
"Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My
specialty is babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come
in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we
start?"
Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try
two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a
couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too. You can really spread out!"
Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, liv ing room floor? No
wonder it didn't work for my husband and me."
Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee
a good one every time. But if we try several
different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...."
Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must
take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five
minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
sure."
Wife (muttering) - "Don't I know it."
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the
top of a bus."
Wife - "Oh my god!"
Photographer - "And these twins turned out
exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was
so difficult to work with."
Wife - "She was difficult?"
Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to
take her to the park to get the job done right. People
were crow ding around four and five deep, pushing to
get a good look."
Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement).
Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours,
too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -
I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness
approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when
the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
packed it all in."
Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually
chewed on your equipment?"
Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're
ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to
work"
Wife - "Tripod?"
Photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest
my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very
long. Madam! Madam! Good Lord, she's fainted!"