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Thread: Los Angeles mathematics test...

  1. #1
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    Default Los Angeles mathematics test...

    THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES — HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM


    NAME: __________________

    GANG: __________________



    Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?

    Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

    Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit?

    Jarone want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

    Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4X4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs, 3 4X4s, how many Chevies will he have to steal to make $800?

    Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
    Extra credit bonus: how much more time will he get for killing the bitch that spent his money?

    If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?

    Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

    Thelma can cook dinner for her 16 children for $7.50 per night. She gets $234 a month welfare for each child. If her $325 per month rent goes up 15%, how many more children should she have to keep up with her expenses?

    Salvador was arrested for dealing crack and his bail was set at $25,000. If he pays a bail bondsman 12% and returns to Mexico, how much money will he lose by jumping bail?

    Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the Boa on one week's income?

    Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his .357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?

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    runamok is offline Visiting Dignitary/NFL WEEK 16 & 18 CHAMP
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    Thats one hell of a exam.

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    Engineering Exam

    We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South. We challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam, administered by the University of West Virginia Engineering Department:

    1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that

    will support a 10-pound possum.


    2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on

    blocks in your front yard? A '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet, a

    '67 Chevelle, or a '64 Pontiac GTO.


    3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20

    gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are

    required to condense the product?


    4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw that operates at 2700 RPM. The

    density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per

    acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14

    inches. How many Budweisers will be guzzled before the trees are cut

    down?


    5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12

    simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone

    layer?



    6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with

    a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is

    16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch

    collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?


    7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow

    with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of

    his grown children put a mobile home on the man's land and still

    have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?


    8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep

    slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average

    traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that

    it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?


    9. A coal mine operates in a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous

    Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued

    at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered

    Camels will be smoked during the shift?


    10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per

    generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by

    the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

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  7. #4
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    Justdroppedin -

    Good one, I like your exam better.

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