Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: The crazy english language!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    1,706
    Satfix Buxs
    24,179
    Thanks
    1,533
    Thanked 5,450x in 1,400 Posts
    Items Mexico
Gift received at 03-28-2014, 12:29 AM from hedley
Message: Mejico LindoCrown Royal
Gift received at 06-19-2013, 10:30 PM from darlinkat
Message: Enjoy !!! lolRadio
Gift received at 12-15-2012, 03:10 PM from ICEMAN
Message: merry chritmas

    Default The crazy english language!

    The crazy english language!

    Subject : An Interesting Play On Words


    Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.

    You think English is easy??
    I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!
    This took a lot of work to put to gether!



    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce.

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

    8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

    19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


    Let's face it - English is a crazy language. Nonsensical.
    There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that=0 quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

    And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends bu t not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

    If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

    PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

  2. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Angel Eyes For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    565
    Satfix Buxs
    3,007
    Thanks
    55
    Thanked 126x in 67 Posts
    Items Guitar2
Gift received at 01-03-2020, 02:07 AM from BluegrassACDC
Gift received at 01-03-2020, 02:07 AM from Bluegrass
Message: Just becauseCrown Royal
Gift received at 01-03-2020, 02:07 AM from BluegrassSome beer
Gift received at 01-03-2020, 02:07 AM from Bluegrasshelicopter
Gift received at 01-03-2020, 02:07 AM from BluegrassDish
Gift received at 01-03-2020, 02:07 AM from BluegrassVintage truck
Gift received at 01-02-2020, 03:09 AM from BluegrassCoffee maker
Gift received at 12-30-2019, 11:42 PM from Bluegrass

    Default

    Why do we drive on Parkways and park on Driveways?

  4. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Cybernaut For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    6,594
    Satfix Buxs
    1,923,738
    Thanks
    38,113
    Thanked 36,831x in 6,153 Posts
    Items HookahA BeerFootballGolfACDCGuitar2street BikeCheckered Flag

    Default

    We need to convict that convict..................

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •