My wife and I went on our honeymoon to Australia, but unfortunately, I had to dial the help line.

"G'day this is Tim, you've reached the Aussie help line. How can we help ya.......

I told him, "We were in the ocean and my wife was stung by a jellyfish on her lady parts.

Her vagina is completely swollen shut. It's our honeymoon, and well....ya know."


The guy on the help line replies, "Ah, bummer mate!"


I say, "I hadn't thought of that! Thanks for the advice. You've saved my honeymoon!"