A Frenchman: when I am going overseas, I am hiring the best detective agency to spy after my wife, for 1000 francs/hour. Upon return I have the full report on her cheating.

An American: I am into high-tech, got equipment worth $500,000 - cameras, microphones, surveillance. Upon return I can watch all her frolics in 4K.

An Italian: When coming home I am approaching old crones sitting all day round in the neighbourhood, calling them up, "What's up, old whores?"

Then they just explode, "Who you call whores?! Do you know what your missus is about???".

And then I get the full report, for free.