After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, “Hey Luigi, how was-a da treep?”
Luigi said, “Everyting was-a perfecto except-a for da train-a ride down.”
“Whata you mean, Luigi?” asked Giovanni.
“Well, we board-a da train at Gran-a Central Station. My-a beautiful Virginia, she pack-a biga basketa food. She brought-a da vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were looking-a forward to-a da trip, and open up-a da lunch-a basket. The conductor come-a by, wagga his finger at us and-a say, “No eat inna dis car. Musta use-a da dining car.”
“So, me and-a my beautiful Virginia , we go to-a da dining car, eata big-a lunch and starta to open da bottle of a nice-a vino! Conductor walk-a by again, wagga his finger and say, “No drink inna dis car! Must-a use da club-a car.”
“So, we go to-a da club-a car. While-a drinkin da vino, I start-a to light-a my big-a cigar. The conductor, he wagga his finger again and say, “No smoke in-a dis car. Musta go to-a da smokin car.”
“We go to-a da smokin car and I smoke-a my big-a cigar. Then-a my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to-a da sleeper car and-a go to-a da bed. We just about to make-a da honeymoon love and the conductor, he walk-a through da hallway shouting at-a da top of his-a voice, “No-fork-a Virginia! No-fork-a Virginia!”
“Next-a time, I’ma just gonna take-a da bus.”