My wife says we should split up because I keep pretending I'm a detective

I said good idea, we can cover more ground that way.....


I asked my wife, “I’m stuck on a crossword clue—Overworked Postman— can you help me?”

She said, “Sure. How many letters?”


I said, “I’m guessing—too many.”.....


I got fired from my job as a masseur.

There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.....


My wife complains about constantly being sexually harassed at work

I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office if she doesn’t like it.....


My uncle spent 250,000 on a new limousine and later found out the price does not include a driver

To think he spent all that money and has nothing to chauffeur it!.....


A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship

A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.....


What’s the Wi-Fi password?


Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.


OK, I’ll have a Coke.


Bartender: Three dollars.


There you go. So what’s the Wi‑Fi password?


Bartender: “You need to buy a drink first.” No spaces, all lowercase....