when he sees a new soldier he doesn't recognize.....

"Hey, you! Soldier! Get over here! What's your name?"


"John."


"John?! What the hell kind of army do you think this is? John! I never call my soldiers by their first names. It breeds familiarity and leads to a breakdown in discipline. I only ever call my soldiers by their last names: Smith, Jones, Jenkins, and so on. And you will refer to me as sergeant major. Do I make myself clear?"


"Yes, sergeant major."


"Good. Now that we've got that settled, what is your name, soldier?"


The soldier breathes a heavy sigh and answers "Darling. My name is John Darling, sergeant major."


"Okay John, here's what I need you to do..."