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Thread: Food Safety for new Bachelors.

  1. #1
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    Default Food Safety for new Bachelors.

    There may be some that are just starting out on that lonely road ahead, or have been down the road and have just been left in the dust.


    Well here are a few cooking tips for new bachelors, it will keep you out of the bathroom and in front of the TV looking for that good game.

    Tip #1. Peanut butter sandwiches are good for you, but a good staple diet of other foods will keep your pants from falling down as you loose too much weight.



    Tip #2. Tuna does not look green when it comes out of the can, noticing this can keep you from making that nasty trip to the hospital.



    Tip #3. When using mayonnaise to make that tuna sandwich the mayo dose not have lumps or green stuff in it (if you keep your knife clean first) noticing this will keep you from making that nasty trip again.



    Tip #4. Boiling water, water will boil in a small pan in about 7 to 9 minuets (this depending on the size of pan and the altitude you are at) set a timer and go do something else, watching it and waiting for it to boil will just waist your time, a dash of salt will get the water a bit hotter, but don’t use too much as it will raise the time required to boil, the higher in altitude you live the water will boil faster but will be at a lower then normal temperature a dash or more of salt will raise the temperature of the water so the food your cooking will be done faster.



    Tip #5. Spatulas, they are used for most pancake and egg flipping and stirring things you are cooking, there are 3 classifications of spatulas.

    One is the plastic kind, these are good for eggs and pancakes they are made out of non-stick plastic but will stick to the pan if left in it too long.

    The second type is metal; these are good for hamburgers and other foods that the melted plastic ones wont flip just right, they are also good for out on the BBQ.

    The last kind of spatula is the floor and counter type, these are usually metal and have bent handles, chips taken out of the blades or badly bent blades, they are used to get the stuck food off the floor and counter when cleaning. (Yes kids you do have to still clean)


    Note: Do not use a metal spatula on a linoleum floor, just soak the spilled food with water it will soften it up and make it easier to remove. (see tip #7 on floor cleaning.)



    Tip #6. Refrigerator safety, not all foods you make or cook will last forever in the fridge, if that tuna sandwich you made last month is sending up smoke signals then call National Geographic as you have discovered a new intelligent life form, most tuna sandwiches have a eatable life span of two or three days if inside a sandwich bag and in the fridge and not too close to the 2 week old meat loaf.


    Milk, yes milk does have an expiration date, although it doesn’t quite expire on the date on the carton, I have unopened milk that is 2 weeks older then the date marked on the carton but I like my milk thick.


    Eggs, if they cluck when you open them then they should be BBQ’d and not used for cooking something else, eggs if kept cold will last 2 to 3 weeks (if kept away from the tuna) past the expiration date, don’t scramble or fry the eggs and put them in the fridge for later use, they don’t taste too good after a week.


    Other foods kept in the fridge should not move when poked with a stick, if it hisses back then call someone like an exterminator, anything with green or purple fuzz on it (unless its road kill) should be thrown out.



    Tip #7. Cleaning, yes kids you have to clean or those guys from one of those reality shows will show up and put you to shame.



    It is best to start with the kitchen, this will keep you feeling fit (out of the hospital) to tackle the rest of the house.


    Dishes can be cleaned in that thing under the counter called a dish washer, (big square metal thing) this can also be used to clean the floor (later in this section) it is best to soak the dishes first as ketchup that has hardened for more then a week will take the metal spatula to get it off, it is best to rinse the dish off before stacking it for a later cleaning, I keep mine in 1 week 2 week and 3 week sections, this makes it easier to tell what ones go in the dish washer first.


    Use of the dish washer, if you have one (if you don’t then is best to buy paper plates) you should arrange the dishes so the water will get to both sides, just laying them in there will not work too good as only the top and bottom and some of the sides of the stack will get clean, the little pegs on the dish rack in the washer helps with the arrangement.


    Note: a good way to keep things organized on the “what is a clean dish?” part is to stack the dirty ones in the sink and use the ones out of the dish washer first, when it is empty then you can put the dirty ones from the sink in it for a cycle or two. (use paper plates till the cycle is done)


    As far as cleaning the rest of the house its best to invite Mom (or your sister or girlfriend) over for a dinner. (Mom works best)


    Oh about the floor cleaning with the dish washer, I found this by accident.


    I used normal liquid dish washing soap (yes they have special soap for the dish washer) in the dish washer as I had run out, I used the same amount as the dish washer normal soap stuff, and went outside, I came back in about a half hour later to find the kitchen full of suds, I used the shop vac (should be on the bachelors kitchen tools list) to suck up the suds, and to my surprise the kitchen floor never looked so clean, it is advisable to those that may try this to watch out for the carpet in the living room, I got lucky as the suds hadn’t reached that far yet, keep an eye on this when trying it out.

    Well I have run out of steam, I will be posting more tips later on, anyone else with some good ideas for use bachelors please feel free to post them, but be sure to test them out if they are a cooking shortcut or something as we don’t like those long drives to the emergency room with those terrible stomach cramps and towels stuffed down the back side of our shorts.
    Last edited by Terryl; 07-11-2011 at 09:29 PM.
    ♫♫♫ I知 a lumberjack and I知 OK ♫♫♫ I drink all night and sleep all day. ♫♫♫



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  2. #2
    slugworth Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terryl View Post
    Well I have run out of steam, I will be posting more tips later on, anyone else with some good ideas for use bachelors please feel free to post them, but be sure to test them out if they are a cooking shortcut or something as we don't like those long drives to the emergency room with those terrible stomach cramps and towels stuffed down the back side of our shorts.
    If tragedy does strike, eat massive amounts of yogurt-either plain or vanilla.(no fruit)
    I once had digestive problems and ate 1 quart of yogurt in 1 day.Much better after that.

  3. #3
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    More food safety tips for bachelors.

    Tomato paste should not spray out of the can when opened, tomato paste does not have a fizz to it like soda pop, it is an indication that it is bad and should only be used to keep the ants far away from your house. (this is done outside as far from the house as possible)

    If it's not a food that is green when grown or first prepared and is green now after being in the fridge for a while, don't eat it, doing so will require the stuffing of towels down the back side of your pants on the way to the hospital. (saves your car/truck seats from a big mess)

    Food stored in the pantry should not fall out the bottom of the carton, this is an indication to get a cat.

    95% of food stored in cans have a uniform shape, if they look bulged on the top, bottom or both ends then don't open them, doing so will cause you to have to clean the kitchen ceiling, as food stuck to the ceiling causes rumors about your cooking to start and your friends may stop comming over to watch the game.

    It is not normal for stuff to leak out the bottom of the fridge, (water excluded) this is a sign the the fridge is not working or it's circuit breaker has popped, a good indication of this is the food inside is at room temperature, if the food is cold then its a sign to get some help with the cleaning out of the stuff that been in there for a while, black fuzzy spots on the baloney is not normal (on most types it's not) and dont give it to the dog, vet bills are just as high as going to the hospital with towels stuffed down your pants.
    ♫♫♫ I知 a lumberjack and I知 OK ♫♫♫ I drink all night and sleep all day. ♫♫♫



    Coming soon to a crop circle near you.....

    There is a 66 and third % chance that I'm on the right planet...

    "I'm happier then a Jackalope in a balloon factory"

    "First rule of testing satellites"
    "If its working fine now, then don't mess with it"

    "Second rule of testing satellites"
    "If you did mess with it, and now it doesn't work, can you blame someone else?"

    "Third rule of testing satellites"
    "If you did mess with it, and it doesn't work now, and you can't blame someone else"
    "Can you HIDE it"?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by slugworth View Post
    If tragedy does strike, eat massive amounts of yogurt-either plain or vanilla.(no fruit)
    I once had digestive problems and ate 1 quart of yogurt in 1 day.Much better after that.
    How long did you have to stay in the bathroom to make sure?
    ♫♫♫ I知 a lumberjack and I知 OK ♫♫♫ I drink all night and sleep all day. ♫♫♫



    Coming soon to a crop circle near you.....

    There is a 66 and third % chance that I'm on the right planet...

    "I'm happier then a Jackalope in a balloon factory"

    "First rule of testing satellites"
    "If its working fine now, then don't mess with it"

    "Second rule of testing satellites"
    "If you did mess with it, and now it doesn't work, can you blame someone else?"

    "Third rule of testing satellites"
    "If you did mess with it, and it doesn't work now, and you can't blame someone else"
    "Can you HIDE it"?

  5. #5
    slugworth Guest

    Wink better safe than sore

    I sat down to fart just to be on the safe side.
    I like to keep my whites their whitest.

  6. #6
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    More tips for bachelors:

    Clean clothes versus dirty clothes.

    Some of you may have noticed the funny looking metal boxes in that small room, these are called a washer and dryer, (some may have them, some may not) these are used to keep your clothes clean and smelling nice and can be used to tell the difference between the two.

    One box has a top that opens (some do some don’t) with a funny thing inside called an agitator, this is the washer, the other one then is the dryer. (tip, the dryer doesn’t fill with water)

    When you come home after work, play or that big date, you can throw your clothes in the washer; this will keep them from piling up in the corner and keep the room smelling nice.

    Once the washer is full almost to the top you need to run a wash cycle, follow the directions for your washer or call your Mom or girlfriend, as this step can cause the same problems as using the wrong soap in the dishwasher, once the cycle is done you put the wet clothes in the dryer. (See the instructions for the dryer or call your Mom or girlfriend)

    The dryer makes a good storage place for the clean clothes, if you put the dirty ones in the washer and use the clothes out of the dryer you will be in good shape.

    However you must be very careful on what you put in the wash, suits and ties go to the cleaners, colored clothes get washed at a different time then the all white stuff and you don’t use bleach on the colored stuff, not unless you want all white clothes. (Some get two washers, one for the whites, the other for the not whites)(if you have room that is)

    Certain shirts should go to the cleaners, Mom or your girlfriend can help you with this, once you sent the right stuff to the cleaners there should be a tag or laundry mark telling you that the item needs to go to the cleaners and not into the washer. (remember to go pick the stuff up from the cleaners)

    Its best to work out a system, mine is when the clothes in the dryer start to get low it may be time to start the washer, or when the washer can’t hold anymore clothes its time to start the cycle, or quit buying new clothes and look in the dryer first.

    Remember that shirt may smell clean to you but you are use to your smell, it may totally gag someone else, or cut that hot date short. (The same rule applies to socks and underwear)
    Last edited by Terryl; 07-20-2011 at 08:55 PM.
    ♫♫♫ I知 a lumberjack and I知 OK ♫♫♫ I drink all night and sleep all day. ♫♫♫



    Coming soon to a crop circle near you.....

    There is a 66 and third % chance that I'm on the right planet...

    "I'm happier then a Jackalope in a balloon factory"

    "First rule of testing satellites"
    "If its working fine now, then don't mess with it"

    "Second rule of testing satellites"
    "If you did mess with it, and now it doesn't work, can you blame someone else?"

    "Third rule of testing satellites"
    "If you did mess with it, and it doesn't work now, and you can't blame someone else"
    "Can you HIDE it"?

  7. #7
    slugworth Guest

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    Some dryers are vented to the outdoors,I prefer indoors which adds heat and moisture to the air during the winter.
    During the summer I leave the laundry room windows open to get rid of the heat.
    When possible,do more than 1 load in the dryer which takes advantage of a dryer that is already warm.
    Don't leave washed wet clothes in the washer,they get musty fast.

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